Rambling

I have writer's block.
Side note--it seems a little presumptuous to call it that, since I'm not really a 'writer.'
For some reason, I just can't come up with anything to blog about lately. I've had plenty of ideas, but somehow they just don't seem quite right.

• I could write about the events of my last few weeks at Timpanogos High. But as much as I'm ready to move forward, I'm still a little emotional about the job I loved and no longer have.
  
• I could write about the transition I'm in the midst of. But when I try, my current feelings of frustration at being in limbo is what comes out, which doesn't really communicate my true feelings of gratitude for the experiences I've had and excitement for the opportunities to come.
  
• I could write about the boy who snuck up on me and hurt my heart a little. But that was comparatively insignificant, except for the fact that I didn't realize he had the power to do so...and it's kind of a downer. :)
  
• I could write about my recent minor identity crisis when selecting a user name for my UW email. And I actually started a post about that (i.e. transitioning from being known by my last name--'Ms. Thorne' and 'Mama T'-- back to being just 'Melissa') and it was turning out okay until the font size, format, and italicization (not sure if that's a word) started not doing what I wanted it to and I got frustrated and deleted the whole thing.
• I could write about my wish for a new phone and computer and car and camera, but that makes me sound shallow.
  
• I could write about a project I've been working on for a few months (with some success), but I'm still a little self-conscious about it and not quite ready to share with the world.
  

I shouldn't be too surprised that this is happening. It's a cycle I've gone through many times throughout my life. I've never been a good journaler. (Another word I'm pretty sure I made up just now.) But I know it's important and it really can be cathartic, so I try. And let's face it, a blog is just a glorified journal, so it's not surprising that I'm struggling.

The problem I have with journaling (I'm on a roll!) is that I do well and enjoy it for a while, after which I inevitably get lazy and fall behind. Then when I want to go back to it I'm overwhelmed by feeling like I have to catch up on all the things I missed.

I once bought a new journal even though the one I had wasn't even half full, just because I felt like I could start fresh if I had a new book, but I had to catch up on everything if I kept writing in the old one.

Maybe I'll get a new blog!

Okay, that's not very practical. But I am going to let myself off the hook for the things I haven't yet written about. Sorry if you've been relying on this blog to stay updated, you're just going to have to accept that you missed some stuff -- and maybe call me once in a while! Sheesh! :)

So I'm starting fresh! Maybe I'll get back to some of the things on my list, and maybe I won't. But at least this way there might be some new posts soon!

...might... ;)